Madeline Fretz - Remember when last year I did my ranking of Baby Einstein CDs? Here's what I said: "(god, I really need to do a ranking videos post, I'll tell you when)." I've had that idea for a long time, and now is the time. Before we start, let's go over some rules:
- No discovery kits. I'm only ranking videos from the original run, most discovery kits were reissues or recycled content anyways.
- Nothing from Hello Einstein Studios. These are mainly animated and YouTube-first.
- No fan videos. And there are a lot of them, from Krazy Krok to Donald Productions. These fan uploads to YouTube have their own soundtracks, puppet shows, and footage. I'm only including official releases.
With all that out of the way, let's get this post on the road, shall we? We've come a long way from 1997 to 2009, and this is a ranking of all 28 major Baby Einstein videos.
Baby's First Sounds (how ironic)
I'm pretty sure most of you saw this coming. Don't get me wrong, I do like the robot toy at the beginning, the flower animation, and some of the puppet shows, though. I get that this video teaches youngsters how to talk, but they use recycled clips from the past 25 videos to do so, which is its biggest problem. This isn't new, however, as recycling clips dates back to Baby Mozart, and Disney recycled animation in their 1973 movie, Robin Hood, but after a while it comes off as an annoyance. My guess is the team at Disney was either extremely lazy or running out of money. If I were them, I would've definitely shot new footage. There is also the narrator sounding out words, which can also get old. With a plethora of reused footage and boring voiceovers, it's clear to see why Baby Einstein enthusiasts dislike this video.
Baby's First Moves (again, how ironic)
I wanted to like this one, especially since it had the moving (no pun intended) Baby Einstein Original Finale Theme, but then I saw how much Baby Einstein enthusiasts disliked it, as with First Sounds - a ton of baby footage, offscreen kids singing, "If You're Happy and You Know It", remixed versions of classical music even though I do like this version of Eine Kleine Natchmusik, and reused footage - it's to the point it's like more of a generic baby video. I get that this video encourages youngsters to "get up and go", to quote the tagline that came with the 2007 reissue, but has its flaws.
Discovering Shapes
Baby Einstein enthusiasts have one problem with this video, it's meant to be the replacement to a much better video we'll get to later that wasn't selling well. I feel like this video would've been better if it were about a whole new topic. I do like the soundtrack, however.
World Animal Adventure
This is one of two videos Chris D'Angelo Productions, who also took over LeapFrog videos, made for Baby Einstein before production came to a halt, and it is the inferior one. The only things going for it are the birthday party puppet show where a frog and another puppet stick out their tongues like party horns and the toy scenes. However, the puppets by Images in Motion Media make look like Playsoup puppets, but they're just so awful. I like the Click Clack Tree, horse, and duck toys, but the rest of the video is just bland, like the puppet shows, they're just so boring. In the end, I'll have no desire to visit World Animal Adventure again.
Baby da Vinci
I liked Flute Concerto in D, the puppet shows, and the drawing, but Baby da Vinci's main flaw is that it has a section on FEET, which definitely aged badly (cough DeviantArt cough that certain Dan cough), so even though I own this video on DVD now, I'll skip through that part.
Baby Galileo
I bet you weren't expecting this one. The other videos were just better, and the last four were worse, but at least this video's not boring. The reason it's ranked so high is because of the cow puppet mooing. I got over the moo sound effect in Baby MacDonald, but I was just haunted by the one in Baby Galileo.
Baby's Favorite Places
This is one of three videos featuring sign language and starring Marlee Matlin, who would later return to Baby Einstein in Closer Look, but it's more forgettable than the other two. I kind of like the soundtrack, but nothing else really stuck with me. For example, the puppet shows are very short and lame and the kid scenes are especially unmemorable here. In the end, Baby's Favorite Places is another video I have no desire to revisit.
On the Go
Yeah, I know, this is the favorite Baby Einstein video of a handful of enthusiasts, but for me, I couldn't stand it. It's once again so boring. I do like the puppet shows and soundtrack, though, and I like that they reused a piece from the Baby Mozart CD as a way to make up for it not being in Baby Mozart the video. In Disney's releases, they went over things twice, that's before and after the music, and it's especially boring here. It's at least better than Discovering Shapes because the topic of it hadn't been touched upon until now, and better than Baby's First Sounds because it's mostly original footage.
World Music
The superior one of the Chris D'Angelo Productions duology, I grew up with World Music and recently got it on DVD. The main issue I have with it is also one I have with World Animal Adventure, the puppet designs are awful, and while the puppet shows are enjoyable, they're just Jane playing her drum while another puppet plays an instrument native to their country. On the bright side, I do like the soundtrack, and it was nice to see Roary again.
Baby Wordsworth
We're into the good ones now, folks. Like other videos, the toy scenes and some of the puppet shows in this one are particularly unmemorable, but at least Baby Wordsworth isn't absolutely horrendous. I really like a handful of puppet shows, and the soundtrack is strong. Ed Kalinis is no Bill Weisbach, but he still did a pretty good job.
My First Signs
This video has some good elements, the soundtrack is fine and unlike the other two videos she was in, Marlee at least gets to interact with the puppets (in this case, the otter host). Its setup is also kinda good, in that it goes over a baby's day from breakfast to bedtime.
Baby Noah
This video uses the story of Noah's Ark to explore animal homes. Remember when I said I wasn't keen on the remixes in First Moves? I liked the contradance remixes in this one, as with the rest of the soundtrack, and the puppet shows were as funny as always. And since a commercial for the Animal Kingdom at Walt Disney World in Florida plays at the end, I'm CONVINCED this was nothing more than a half-hour ad for that park.
Meet the Orchestra
I like to think of Meet the Orchestra as an experiment. The team wanted to do a video introducing its audience to instruments in an orchestra, but sometimes it can be lame and boring, the reason why a Barney video called The Magic of Music which would've introduced Riff, who would've been called Zack, was cancelled. But this ranking isn't about Barney. The animation and puppet shows were good, however, and it was a nice touch seeing Legends and Lore puppets in the audience, some of whom hadn't been seen since Baby Shakespeare or Santa, as was Symphony No. 4 in B-Flat Major, Op. 60, 4th Movement.
Lullaby Time
If you're looking for the perfect Baby Einstein video to watch at night, this is it. Yes, it has reused footage, but its soundtrack is impressive, much quieter and slower paced than other pieces, I like the touch of white noise and crashing waves, and the puppet shows were cute even if it was just Baby Lamb. (and his mommy in the credits)
Numbers Nursery
Nothing much to say about this one. I like that they brought Julie back to narrate and write the poems, at least for this video, and unlike Baby Galileo and the 10th anniversary re-release of Baby Mozart, the puppets are at their best, and the soundtrack is relatively enjoyable. I do wish they went at least up to 10 however, but there's the bonus features to make up for it.
Baby MacDonald
The "Old MacDonald" song has started to get on my nerves nowadays, but at least this is an average video. The puppet shows are funny, the soundtrack is nice, and the toy scenes are charming. Baby MacDonald is perfectly pleasant, it's no wonder this was a favorite of my family for years.
Baby Monet
This was going to be a companion piece to the Baby Vivaldi CD with the same pieces, but at least it's still okay. The puppet shows are very charming and fun, and I love the idea of a tree changing as the seasons change, so it makes for a decent watch.
Language Nursery
Yes, the VHS is called Baby Einstein, but I'm using images of the original releases, and this video was renamed to Language Nursery as I Think I Can Productions was renamed to The Baby Einstein Company after being called Aigner-Clark Productions in Baby Bach. Sure, it has no classical music since it was the first video, sure, it's counting, reciting the alphabet and nursery rhymes, and singing simple children's songs in different languages set to random toy scenes, but this was because it was not intended to teach those languages, but to stimulate the parts of a baby's brain that were largely ignored, and if Language Nursery wasn't at least good, there's a chance we wouldn't be here and I wouldn't be typing these words. What I do like about this video is that the soundtrack and toys are really good. I just ranked it higher than other videos is all.
Baby Newton
Even if it's ranked lower than the other Clark videos, Baby Newton still manages to be nice and charming. I get how consistent and a fan favorite this one is. The music videos are beautiful and immersive, and the use of CGI was also like an experiment hence why this is the only video to use it, and the sequences here are fantastic, as are the puppet shows.
Baby Santa's Music Box
I enjoyed this video when I was younger to the point I would watch it the night before Halloween. (no shame) It's a very sweet little Christmas special, as well as the only holiday-related video made during the original run, that shows dancing ornaments, Christmas toys, arctic animals snow, and the kid scenes, which I was really invested in, plus it has the best version of, "The Twelve Days of Christmas" I've ever heard. In the end, Baby Santa is a pretty nice video.
Baby Bach
The toy selection in this obvious follow-up to Baby Mozart is quite good and endearing even if they're scary to some, the kid scenes are fun, and I really liked the soundtrack. As I said in my CD ranking, it's a pity that two pieces from the CD had to be left out. Overall, good video.
Baby Dolittle: World Animals
I actually did not like this video at first. I was told that whenever it would be turned on, I would do everything I could to try to get out of watching it. Maybe because it had the warning screen while our other videos didn't? Yeah, I think so. I grew older, and I also grew to enjoy it. World Animals is adventurous and charming with stunning footage of real animals and the puppet shows are fun to watch. They did a great job matching pieces with animals, because the soundtrack is delightful. It's another good video and a must-watch for animal lovers.
Baby Dolittle: Neighborhood Animals
The superior one out of the Baby Dolittle duology, Neighborhood Animals is cute and charming and sweet, and it makes for a pleasant and enjoyable watch. It's a good video that shows nice animal clips, like a nature documentary, set to suitable pieces, so I can definitely appreciate what it goes for. I especially like the opening puppet show, opening and final music video and the credits. I also like the puppet shows. It's a very good video and I like it.
Baby Neptune
"What's this?", you may ask, "a Disney video ranked higher than six Clark videos?" It's true. Baby Neptune is a fun little deep dive on water and its playful personality. The puppet shows are decent, the toy scenes are fine, but the soundtrack is the real meat and potatoes. A good start to "the Disney era", another family favorite, and better than most of what came after (cough Baby's First Sounds cough). In short, Baby Neptune is worth checking out especially if you love the ocean.
Baby Beethoven
I was unsure of Baby Beethoven in the past, especially since it had the cow puppet used in Baby Galileo, but as I grew older I grew to appreciate it, especially since it doesn't have the cow mooing creepily and especially since it was the finale of "the Clark era". The giraffe is a likable host, the illustrations, originally in the book, See and Spy Counting, are beautiful, the toys are great and an excellent fit for the music videos, and speaking of which, I like the soundtrack that puts the pieces on the Kids II-era albums to shame. My only nitpick is that it was released three years after the CD it was named after, why not release those together? (Baby Shakespeare can keep its Beethoven pieces, though) In the end, Baby Beethoven is a good video that I can see the appeal of.
Baby Mozart
You may be shocked that this isn't number 1. I mean this is the definitive Baby Einstein video, one that I told chaseace5127 2.0. was the Rashomon of the Baby Einstein canon, and that's for the reasons I'm going to go over. Baby Mozart makes for a fun watch, and one I'd never get tired of even if I watched it every day. Yes, Bard's scene can be scary, as is the cow mooing in the 10th anniversary re-release, but frightful moments aside, Baby Mozart is still pretty fun, with a soothing ASMR soundtrack, the first video to use classical music. Using the work of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart first was a no-brainer after Julie Clark read The Mozart Effect. As I said, the soundtrack is lovely, especially the original renditions from 1998, and who's to disagree. This is also the first video to use puppets and they're goofy and witty here. I could go on about how amazing Baby Mozart is, and it's clear to see why this is a favorite amongst so many Baby Einstein enthusiasts.
Baby Shakespeare
My number two pick is Baby Shakespeare and it's so miraculously good. It's the fourth video, sure, but has everything you'd expect from Baby Einstein especially in "the Clark era" - gorgeous toys, a calm and slow tone, some of Bill Weisbach's greatest musical work, and lovable and iconic puppets. Not to mention it's done in the style of a stage play, hence why you get curtains throughout, an intermission, and a curtain call at the end, which fits with William Shakespeare's name being in the title since he was a playwright. Again, I could go on about how amazing it is. To put it short, Baby Shakespeare deserves a standing ovation.
However, there's one more video that I like better, and it's...
Baby Van Gogh
Yeah, I mean it was kind of inevitable. In my mind, Baby Van Gogh is Baby Einstein at its best and nothing will ever top it. From the palette to the screen, it's everything you'd expect from Baby Einstein wrapped up in a masterpiece. I adore everything about it without any nitpicks, except that they used The Blue Danube Waltz, my favorite classical piece, for orange, my favorite color. (couldn't they have called it the Orange Danube Waltz?) It's the closest thing Baby Einstein (well, the original run) has to a plot, since it goes over the six colors of the rainbow, (unordered, for some reason) but it's incredibly well-paced, after Carmen, it starts out energetic with yellow and William Tell Overture and ends calmly with blue and Brahms' Lullaby before rousing credits set to 1812 Overture, the illustrations by Helen Ulan are so gorgeous, the puppets are lovable and endearing, including our host Vincent Van Goat, and the soundtrack is genuinely perfect without a single bad track. (not even The Blue Danube Waltz) In short, I love Baby Van Gogh with all my heart, and that's never gonna change.
And that concludes my list and thoughts on all 28 videos. Without this post, I would've never gotten to figure out my feelings about each video and broaden my taste about what this brand has to offer. I hope you had as much fun reading this post as much as I had fun typing it. Thanks for reading and I'll see you next time.
